Control

Sometimes from nowhere. Sometimes from somewhere specific. Usually without warning. Feelings. Thoughts. Fears. They all emote. Projecting their specific expression into your body and mind. What do you do with them is up to you. Do you harbor them? Do you reject them? Disregard and move on or accept, cultivate, and progress with them?

In this cruel world, we seek these feelings. We feel to be alive. Without feelings we are dead. And death is our greatest fear. To die is to completely let go and give up. This is not literal death but metaphorical. Walking dead. Zombies in this corporate world. They surround us. We all know a few. They epitomize the lack of life. And that is our greatest fear. Living without life. Instead we seek it everywhere else.

If that is death, what is life? Life is the culmination of feeling and not simply surviving. Such a simple analogy of life and death, but is it not true? What is life without feeling? And the greatest, strongest, most desirable feeling is love. To love and be loved. To be loved can be as empty as not loving because without mirroring that feeling, it is empty. Without love, life equals slowly dying. And do we really wonder why our kids are cutting themselves and committing suicide in record numbers? That sounds like an excellent option when you do not have someone to love and love you back. And I am not being sarcastic.

So instead, I try to feel. I try to reach out and live. Without living I am dying. There is an ability, or an option, to control your emotions rather than live by them. The fact of pain in life is part of feeling. It is not something to seek, but to accept and continue living. Continue growing. Without growth, there is death. Without conflict and resistance there is no growth. Opposite of love is hate. Opposite of growth is death. Opposite of living is indifference.