The rain today.

So here it is. Finally. A post that is more than just the normal conundrum of my life. Boring, I know.

But what does that take? What distracts my mind from everything back to my own selfish self? As I went camping this weekend, I sensed all my thoughts were either wrapped around my selfish self or some other completely negative thought. I do not want that to become who I am. Neither selfish nor depressing. I could blame it on a million things that logically make sense and could be tracked back to. Either way is regressive. So what now? I don't know...

But what I do know is that I am going to kill that last part of me. Not literally, no need for intervention. But metaphorically. It will come back I understand, but it is not who I want to become, so for that reason, I am leaving it behind. All this murderous and walking metaphors make me want to watch a movie.

Possibly, this is just a natural evolution: contentment, apathetic, discontent, upset, angry, answers, reoriented, repeat. At least that is how it has been, in a 3 month cycle with small cycles thrown in between to keep me on my toes. So here goes... the next chapter... the next season. Step one, getting refocused on progress and goals. Getting up earlier. I'm gonna shoot for around 5am and maybe pull it back from there, we will see where it goes. But it is in the name of focus and discipline. I got motivated thanks to Steve Pavlina's blog post on becoming an early riser. So read it and get motivated too, if you want. Otherwise stay tuned on how it goes with me.